My life lately and BLTW 2009

While this blog is open to all, it is especially intended for my brothers.

When I became a Sigma Chi I agreed to live my life a certain way. More of a commitment to my brothers I suppose, but it is something I have always valued greatly. While no man is perfect, and everyone slips sometimes, it is important to come back from those slips.

Recently, I did more than slip. I fell and I fell hard. While deep down inside I was trying to succeed in being a good man and a good Sigma Chi. I was failing. This isn’t measured by how many hours I dedicated to Theta Theta, or how much I was there for my brothers. Those were successes. The failures are deeply rooted in my behavior and what I have said/wrote about others (you know who I am talking about.) I have not succeeded at meeting the measures of the Jordan Standard, nor have I upheld the values of Sigma Chi.

Brothers- I am sorry. I don’t know that I need to apologize to you, and I know as much as anyone else that an apology proves nothing, but I am truly sorry. I am also sorry to myself. I have to be able to apologize to myself because if I don’t forgive myself I can’t move on. I have allowed a cloud of negativity to set itself above me. It has been raining down constantly and I have not done enough to push it away. The cause of this cloud is a few things, most of which you have heard about, and I can’t rid my life of those things, at least not yet. In my control though is the umbrella. My attitude needs to cast an umbrella to block that negativity. How do I do that? I have no clue- if you have ideas, PLEASE share them. I even stopped in the self-help section, with no luck.

What does all that mean- it means, I am going to do better. MUCH better. I will slip at times, we all do, but I am going to focus on being positive and being the best I can be, regardless of those on the outside and their influence. I am re-committing myself to the values and purpose of Sigma Chi, and this past week was a fitting time to do this (brothers, you know why.) Please, help hold me accountable. This is how this was brought to my attention in the first place, so don’t stop that.

Speaking of last week- AMAZING. A lot of things good and crazy happened. Because this is so long now, and because of the late hour, I will write more about that later! Brothers, Thank You, especially my Sigma Chi “Big Brother” (you know who you are) and all of my brothers. I am back on track, and will be staying there.

In Hoc,

Chrispy